You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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