I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I love having hate sex.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
