it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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