oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
