Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
