Moan for me like Helen Keller
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
