i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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