You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
