Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize