I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
