considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
