I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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