a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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