I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
