Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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