Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize