I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize