i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
