hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
