guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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