Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I cockslap morals
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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