Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
