Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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