i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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