I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
oh god the rape fog is back!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
