Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
it hurts more in the daytime
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
