everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
BRING THE BAGELS
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
