I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
