At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
