She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
