I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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