so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
