how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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