i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
