she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
