I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
