The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she woke up with a sticky ear
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."