just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.