now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.