He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.