Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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