I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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