so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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