yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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