Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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