apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
