Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i believe in u and ur pee
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
