I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize