Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
