We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I could fuck to npr.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
