his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
