Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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