she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
