she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
stop calling my apartment porn island.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
