420 ftw
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
