soooo we both peed the bed last night...
sarcasm needs its own font
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
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Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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