some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We're too hungover to prance.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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