Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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