Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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