Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
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She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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