please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
