hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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