Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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