The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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