Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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