Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
