Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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