I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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