That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
