i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Screwed.edu
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize